At 23.00 GMT on February 24 2011 the WikiLeaks website posted details of a  Controversial deal in which the US Federal Reserve had acquired $1.25  Billion worth of toilet paper from a Cayman Islands Registered Company linked to the 2012 Presidential Election candidate from Springfield in Massachusetts the ‘born-again then off-again then born-again’ Buddhist Musician, Comedian and self-taught snake charmer Bill Zucker.

The deal itself was brokered in July 2010 at an Alaskan Earl-Grey English Tea-party festival organized by the gorgeous Shannon Tweed and her partner Gene Simmons from the rock band KISS.  Simmons and Tweed are Co-founders with Zucker in the New Jersey Stock Exchange listed Guitar Basher Holdings [NJSE:GBH] and recently achieved more notoriety as the firm that created the prototype of the egg that Zucker’s former  ‘Did-she, did-they, has-she, have-they’ girlfriend Lady Gaga made her grand entrance at the 2011 Grammy Awards in.  Its widely speculated that Lady Gaga wrote the track “Paparazzi” after first meeting Zucker who himself was the subject of many a camera-lens when he used to be part of the NKOTB and then NSYNC entourage, often seen teaching the young Justin Timberlake how to walk into a dimly lit nightclub while wearing dark sunglasses.

GBH is now the biggest manufacturing and storage provider of toilet paper in the US, thanks to its state of the art (and George Orwell inspired) recycling facility in Cuba. But it has always courted controversy and recently has been defending a class-action lawsuit by Californian homeowners who are sick of the spiralling costs of buying toilet paper which has now hit a 24 month high at $50 for a pack of cheap quality single layer, to more than $500 for a triple-ply velvet roll. It seems that even the high cost of gasoline and fuel prices didn’t cause the mass panic and protests with even the outgoing Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s desire to return to acting in order to raise enough money so that his own family could continue to afford toilet paper across his four mansions.

It was also GBH that assisted the iconic Jean Paul Gaultier in manufacturing the nipple-cones that Madonna famously wore for her burlesque music concerts more than a decade ago. That itself has caused controversy when the National Enquirer broke a story ( that Gaultier himself publicly denied ) indicating that they had received photographs of Zucker personally taking Madonna’s precise measurements for the very revealing semi-costume – something that Zucker’s girlfriend at the time 90210’s Shannen Doherty - had firmly rejected. Although the pictures never surfaced it was reported that Zucker spent 4 weeks in an Oklahoma rehab where he first met his now lifelong friend Michael Douglas. Just a few days later Doherty was unceremoniously dumped by Zucker in favour of her Charmed co-star Alyssa Milano.

Nobody at the US Federal Reserve was prepared to comment and we couldn't reach Zucker himself for a statement as he was on a business trip to Hawaii.

Here is the Video Bill Zucker spend thousands of dollars trying to bribe YouTube staff to destroy. But we have found the only known copy in existence and here it is in full!!

**WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS ONLY SUITABLE FOR VIEWING BY PERSONS AGED 18 YEARS AND ABOVE.

The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has this morning issued the immediate seizure of all of Temple Airline's (TA) aircraft and demanded the grounding of its pilots pending further investigation.

Although all the facts are not clear at this stage, we do know that Billionaire and television's badass boss, Donald Trump of 'The Apprentice' fame, had provided the FAA with video footage taken on December 11th 2010 showing both pilots smoking in the cockpit of the Airbus A380 plane and playing very loud rock music over the intercom - prior to take-off. It is unclear how Donald Trump obtained access to security camera tapes, but several employees of Temple Airlines have recently taken early retirement and moved to the Bahamas.

Trump along with other passengers had smelt 'herbal fumes' and refused to fly on the plane with the other 550 passengers. As a direct consequence, Trump was unable to attend a Washington fundraiser organised by The White House to raise much needed TARP funds for another bank bailout.

The FAA has recently announced that pilots will be allowed to fly if they are in possession of a medical certificate but only in circumstances where depression is involved.Temple Airlines (TA) now has 7 days in which to produce documents showing it had obtained special issuance of the medical certificates for its pilots that otherwise would have barred them from all flying duties.

“I’m outraged and upset over this,” said Kelsey Grammer Co-Owner of  TA, who is currently basking and soaking in critical praise for his appearance on Broadway in 'La Cage Aux Folles', but who is best known for playing Niles on NBC's 'Frasier' for 35 seasons. "In fact I am outraged, upset and terribly angry because Bill Zucker, who is supposed to be my business and comedic partner, is one of the pilots involved..oh Damn You Zucker!."

FAA Investigator Dandy Pandite stated: “We are going to get to the bottom of this and will leave no stone or temple unturned, it is just wonderful that such a kind and caring citizen like Donald Trump did the honourable thing and tipped us off."

The identity of the second pilot has not been officially released. We do know that she is a blonde-haired female who is described as looking like Lydia Cornell the actress from ABC's 'Too Close for Comfort’ and extremely sexy in uniform.

Bill Zucker Pilot, Entrepreneur, Musician, Social Media Guru and co-owner of TA was not available to comment as he was on his way back on his boat from a Toilet Paper business trip in Cuba. Donald Trump was too busy firing people to speak to us so that he could get to Cuba faster than Zucker and The White House were not prepared to comment on the record.

Bill Zucker the Poster-boy of social media has been back to his old tricks 
again. Our Paparazzi guy managed to capture photos of 'Wild Billy Z', as he 
left the Four Seasons Hotel at 4am this morning with a mystery blonde female 
passenger - no wonder he had such a big grin on his face.

However, one person who we predict wont be smiling this morning when she 
sees these pictures - current flame and stunningly attractive actress -Lydia 
Cornell, who is on location at the moment shooting a feature with acclaimed 
Director Walt Spielcese

Since Zucker and Cornell appeared together in the 'Kelsey Grammer Bill Zucker 
Comedy Hour' they have been inseparable. Grammer who originally 
played 'Chandler Bing' in TV show 'Friends' had said this when news of Zucker and 
Cornell first broke:

"I find it strange that such a talented and attractive, refined and elegent 
lady with exquisite taste, charm, monumental beauty and sophistication that 
is truly boundaryless...would stoop so low and put Zucker's boxers on her 
head, let alone go out to dinner with him. I don't know how, but he has 
definately brain-washed her"

It will be the second time in the space of a month that Cornell has had to 
endure public scrutiny of her private life. You might recall -  that a few 
weeks ago, we revealed that Shannon Lee Tweed partner of Kiss 'Rocker Gene 
Simmons, and Cornell had exchanged some very heated words when they had bumped 
into each at a fundraiser held at the Beverley Hills Polo Club. Tweed had 
become very angry as Cornell had turned up wearing an identical pair of 
boxer shorts on her head.

Gene Simmons had used his powerful Hollywood connections to secure the 
limited edition pair of diamond encrusted  pair of 'BZ Warrior Signature' 
boxers as a present for Tweed, but hadn't been told that Cornell would be 
likely to have a pair as well. When Cornell verbally retaliated, and within 
seconds, both women were on the floor trying to pull the boxers off each 
others head. The sparring duo had to be prised apart by Security after Billionaire and 
wannabe-toilet paper Tycoon, Donald Trump complained to the organizers.

We have not been allowed to print the full picture of the mystery woman due 
to an injunction being taken out this morning by Zucker's legal team after 
we asked him for a statement. He is currently on his boat in the middle of 
the Bermuda Triangle and due to fly to New York next week for the Global 
Toilet Paper Summit being held by the G12 Countries to try and secure new 
reserves of toilet paper from him to replenish the diminishing supplies 
across the world.

Donald Trump was unavailable for comment as he was in 'hair and make-up' for 
filming, Tweed and Simmons have left the Country and would not respond to 
our tweets and Kelsey Grammer is appearing in La Cage 
Aux Folles on Broadway and trying to keep a low profile, now that another 
story on Zucker has broken